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i have been fiddling with a couple of entries describing the various things i’ve tried to do to occupy my ‘rambling’, wandering mind since i submitted my crazy monster of a phd thesis nearly 2 weeks ago on a friday… but all of them are pretty much less than half-baked! it almost seemed like my mind’s buzzing and yet determined to avoid all things involving stringing thoughts into a coherent whole. i apologize if this entry is gibberish… but i thought i needed to at least attempt to coax myself into being focussed again… for there’s still the dreaded oral examination that will supposedly determine my worthiness of being an official ‘arm-chair philosopher’… who would have thought that the apparent descriptor that’s often times indirectly assumed by people engaged in a bit of reflection and pondering required official verification?! hmm?! baaaah.
i get all nervous and weak thinking of the impending grilling against which i’ll have to provide my independent defence… and now i wish i didn’t write all that 200 pages of *crap* or *scientific garb*… eeks. now there’s a million of possible ways i could be attacked! HELP! where are the portable rabbit-burrows?!?!?
alas! my poor brain does not wish to deal with all that it had to address in the last 2-3 months; intense integration of ideas, thoughts, etc., the perpetual need for intelligible word-spewing, and the editing marathon that seemed never-ending… boy was it a crazy whirlwind! maybe i do need a break! sigh… what a dilemma!!!
that would be quite a cool vanity registration plate won’t it? and i could say i’m “in a FIT” !!! … *giggles*
i hope to get to test-drive this spiffy-looking car tomorrow… not that i can really afford it but … am curious after all the raves about it… hmmm i do like a hatchback… and small-ish car… with great functionality and mileage efficiency… and something i could do my parallel parking without too much misery! …yeah i am hopeless! but it’s getting better, really… =)
gosh, i am so green about car-buying/leasing… but will check out some options at a dealership or two tomorrow… eeks. oh well… at least i get to zippy-zip in the hourcar Prius for a bitty and hopefully there will be time to stop by at a TARGET! for some grocery etc. and United Noodles for some treat =)
and if the car-buying jazz fades out eventually (which isn’t unlikely)… there’s still the bus and bicycle and the hard-core yours truly who’s tough enough to brave another wretchedly evil mid-western winter… sigh.
back to editing !!! arrrrgh.
i really don’t. i’ve never really tipped anyone for offering their charged service before visiting and living in the US of A, with the exception of visiting a developing country. i don’t like tipping when you’re already charged for a service. but it’s the norm here and i keep doing it wrong… or so it seems to me. you pay on top of your bill (which includes taxes) another 15% or more for the services at a restaurant here, and possibly also for a cab-driver. it was made to my awareness the other day that you tip 25% at a hair-dressers… and i was and still am APPALLED! no way am i inclined to pay another 25% for haircuts in the US of A when i don’t get the nice services that a typical hair salon in Edinburgh would offer e.g. a spot of tea and chocolatey biscuits with a hair-wash and cut, and i don’t even have to tip! over here, you get a dry cut for a lot less without any additional service (unless you request and pay for them) at places like cost-cutters. for a more up-scaled hair-pampering, the Aveda salon charges ~2.5-3x the price of a cost-cutters hair-cut and offers more pampering… but i am obliged to add a tip on top of the somewhat exorbitant price. do the people in service here really earn so little such that tipping is required? in europe, it seems derogatory to tip. a service IS service… and you tip on the rare occasion, e.g. in a very fancy resto. that you’ve thoroughly enjoyed yourself. in singapore, service charges are included so you don’t pay extra; assuming that the people offering you their service benefits from it. hmm.
can someone make me feel better about the tipping ‘culture’ in the US of A? or share your views on tipping?!
… i wish too that they would include the taxes in their prices at stores and supermarkets here and break it down on the receipt… like most other places in the world! i wish too that the electrical plugs in all countries were the same… or that we drove on the SAME side of the road, or that we understood each other despite linguistic and cultural barriers… or that we agree on not having to tip… =)
i have an unconfirmed subjective hypothesis that unaddressed issues often return to taunt and haunt one’s conscience… this seems to apply micro-scopically… meso-scopically… and macro-scopically etc.
when violence is used as a means to end confrontation of real issues… it offers no resolution… and often more suffering and hatred. we just don’t seem to learn?!?!?… or that the survival of the fittest gene is just too potent compared to the altruistic cousin? and more generations of sacrifices are needed to rid that once-useful (?!) mutant?!
in any case… we can’t just keep watching and do nothing?!?! this is so vexing… =(
– more on Burmese situation…
i’ve been quite intrigued by this Facebook-thingie… i have to admit i have only just gotten into it… there have been similar earlier morphosis and invitations from friends which i have literally ignored… because i wasn’t sure what it was all about and how much you might expose yourself to… but there’s much development in the privacy… it’s quite a fascinating idea… you feel that at times you are less than 6-degrees apart from someone you hardly know! it’s quite a bizarre… !!!
aside from the networking or rather re-networking in my case, the applications within the website are real fun! i particularly love the graffiti application which lets you be as creative as you want… (here are some of my graffiti-doodling)
and the newly updated version would play back your graffiti-creations too… hey! and you could play games (like scrabble, build a collaborative story, share pictures etc.) with friends who are physically far away… or toss them an idea or two etc. or a sheep!!… best of all, i’ve found so many old school friends that i’ve lost contact with since i left singapore for the uk when i was barely 17! just like this wee blog-space… the facebook has really brought me closer to others, albeit virtually… i think it’s a wonderful and evolving tool… and i think it’s absolutely brilliant! =)
PS just be a little careful with things you share… not just in Facebook… it’s sad that one never knows who can be trusted these days. (thanks to anm for the link)
THREE — i’ve been tagged
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3 things that scare me:
going blind; or losing any functionality of being
violence & darkness…
losing my freedom / or the feeling of being trapped.
3 people who make me laugh:
ANM, Ulli, Des
calvin&hobbes (they don’t really count but they are funny!)
mummy (at times)
3 things I love:
nature: the hills, mountains, the sand, sea, wind, snow, sunshine… etc.
exploring cultures, places, food, arts, history…
learning
3 things I hate:
feeling incompetent and hopeless
disorganised clutter and mess
losing my independence
3 things I don’t understand:
why humans could never really live together and accept that we are all different and have our needs
why we haven’t found a way to resolve conflicts and differences other than the use of violence, war, and psychological trauma.
why we are inherently insecure beings
3 things on my desk:
a wee moleskine pocket weekly notebook
a glass jar of FIREWOOD scent HENRI BENDEL candle
a phamplet listing of performances organised by the Chopin Society of Minnesota
3 things I’m doing right now:
converting binary data into matlab files on linux server remotely / tidying up files / programming scripts to redo analyses… =C(
contemplating what i need to put down on my food&grocery shopping list & what to have for dinner
contemplating if i should call and sign-up for DSL or internet-cable… (yes i am still a frugal dial-up user! how sad.)
3 things I want to do before I die:
find somewhere i could call home… while still being able to explore parts of the world…
write a non-fiction
set up a wee overacuppa teahouse/cafe even if it might just end up being my wee little abode where friends and family could pop over for cultural/artsy chill-out experiences etc.
3 things I can do:
bake a NewYork cheese cake drizzled with homemade blueberry sauce
dance to my heart’s content, when nobody is watching…
navigate better than most of my male friends and get them where they want to go!
3 things you should listen to:
gut-feelings and conscience
constructive criticisms
any music or sound that comes from the heart, mind, and soul…
3 things you should never listen to:
words of those who are uber confident and judgemental OR those who are desperate to please
SNORING
propaganda
3 things I’d like to learn:
to listen to my instincts/gut-feeling more
to play the cello more beautifully…
to communicate better
3 favorite foods: (i have to ‘expand’ the theme of 3 here… because i love so many different types of food!)
Asian — too many delicious stuff.
GOOD quality (dark) chocolates and truffles and i would add panna cotta to this list of desserts!
good Fusion cooking… the right herbs and spices and good fresh ingredients… etc.
3 beverages I drink regularly:
TEA!!!
hot-chocolate / green chai latte / doubleshots
water
3 TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:
the Muppets / Fraggle Rock (Jim Henson)
Roald Dahl’s (but not everything he wrote… yet! someone stole my Omnibus!!!)
AEsop’s fables
3 people I have to tag:
Des, Courtney, Ulli (if they would like to take it up…)
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i don’t remember celebrating Valentine’s ever… well not in the lovey-dovey Hallmark way… but i do have fond memories of the “flower-rangers” that delivered carnations the night before to all the valentines and valentins or valentinos in each student dorm at the college in wales… careful not to wake anyone up.
it’s a wonderfully fun tradition… and i am certain many ppl yonder are greeted by the smell of carnations this morning… absolutely lovely…
i sent carnations to girls and boys alike… for it is also friendship day! at £1 a stalk including a wee notelet wherein you pen your armorous feelings or fuzzy thoughts… anonymous or not… of course, there are other ways to show your love… some of us baked cookies or bought chocolates instead… but the fun (or dreadful!) part of it is the gossips that linger after.
see, white carnations ‘symbolizes’ friendship, pink indicates passionate feelings… and red is for love… you wouldn’t be alarmed getting white ones or, in effect, the red ones… for love is unconditional and friendship is a form of love too… in fact, many dashing and cheeky guys send red carnations to lots of fellow female students… and it is just full of banter!
what is exciting and perhaps thrilling, are the pink ones… that’s what gets you wondering… hmmmm.
pink is in the air… speckled on the cookies found in the office grazing ground… dancing in the hearts of those who find muse on St. Valentine’s Day…
and just because it’s all pinky everywhere… here’s an interesting article about the things that people do, in particular the scientists… in the name of love… or more aptly described as the “2-body” problem … which is a growing normality in modern day… not just a familiar occurrence for scientists but for people from all walks of life… particularly when different cultural worlds collide.
meanwhile…~ HAPPY FRIENDSHIP & VALENTINE’S DAY ~
the first seagull i got to know was Jonathan Livingston… that was nearly another lifetime ago… i’ve always liked the idea of learning to fly… not least it makes it seem easier getting from one place to another… and you don’t have to subject yourself to the incessantly frustrating and rather dehumanizing experience of air-travel these days; btw, thanks to apparently new CIA security measures, travellers from many european countries and british colonies will have to have all their paw-pads scanned during customs & immigration come summer. maybe it would be easier if we all could fly like birds do (– we might learn to carry less baggage! ha) … but perhaps it would be much ‘simpler’ if we all trusted, respected, and loved each other… A LOT more than we currently do.
aeronautics and musings aside, the use of seagulls seems to be a recurring theme in literature… Anton Chekov wrote The Seagull in 1896, a play which speaks of the materialistic dreams that often cloud one’s pursuit of happiness… and of breaking from tradition to find one’s voice, to be. the protagonist of the play, Constantines, is the seagull who perishes because of individualistic idealism… a dramatic end, which starkly contrasts with those who live and (seemingly) readily/blindly accept the societal norms and vogue of the ‘old’ Zeitgeist…
if seagulls are the emblem for freedom, individualism and/or idealism… i sure have an affinity for them…
pondering seagulls; Aldinga Beach
… and i hope they will remain a reminder of hope and the fact that it is alright to be different.
i discovered today that driving an automatic-transmission car is very much less stressful than the stick-shift!
by far…
you just let the car DRIVE, REVERSE, PARK, and press on the accelerator or brakes with ONE foot!
NO CLUTCH! no crazy gear-shifts to beat the free-way… & NO SLIPPING down the hill when you do a hill-start because you didn’t get the bite on the clutch and the accelerator with the right proportion of feet-pressure… & NO crazy multi-tasking… WOW!
geez… i should have learnt driving in an automatic! it would have made life on the road less miserable…
guess i had to learn the hard way, always. baaaah.
oh well… at least now i can go fast without worrying about changing to the 5th gear whenever i get to drive an automatic-car! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
image © www.usavanityplates.com
so much has been going on… and there’s so much to comprehend but it is not easy because it is beyond what we (the royal ‘we’) can imagine…
my thoughts go to those who are trying to escape the bombings and have no say in whether they might live to see the aftermath of the on-going crisis, or to live with the injuries, or to see their love ones dying and dead, or they themselves catching their last breaths.
meanwhile, iraq continues to struggle with unrests…
as if the manmade deaths and violence are not sufficient in the turbulent mid-east, mumbai’s train-bombing last week added more doubts to the idea/possibility of peace.
even UN-peace-keepers are short-staffed.
and the current headlines overshadow other chronic humanitarian crisis… remember Dafur? the news don’t really highlight enough of the trouble that’s out there… there’s also on-going trouble in sri-lanka, cambodia, just to name a few.
it is frustring to read the news these days; most of the headlines and reports are sad, shocking, and disturbing. it makes me wonder how we could be so inhumane to each other… we do not appear to communicate these days, if we appeared to do so before, we might have merely done so on cordial terms or for the benefit of ourselves…
or perhaps it is more appropriate to say that we do not wish to listen… in many countries there remain little dialogue between the state and their citizens… let alone between nations.
soon, even natural disasters will engulf us all… because it’s no good to make us learn… we just don’t.
the current sweep of the human toils in china and indonesia are the replay of variations of the same theme… warnings and symptoms of global warming…
warnings of self-destruction.
