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if i could keep doing that… and assuming that one could accumulate or create sufficient positivity (e.g. feeling of self-achievement / productivity / learning something / doing something good for the community / etc.) each day to fuel the following day… there is a good possibility that i’ll keep “moving forward”!
my count-down to twenty-ten in this wet Scottish city of Glasgow was the most unspectacular of all new year’s eves ever had…
but it was quite ‘memorable’, only because i had to endure one of the worst headaches i’ve ever experienced while being suffocated in a living room with more Asians than i’ve ever surrounded myself with at any one time (apart from Chinese New Year’s at home) who were either more eager to sing their lungs out (even after having had a karaoke marathon for the previous 6 hours!) and deprive me of the little oxygen that was left in the area, or they were too engaged in their ‘national’ sport on a mini ping pong table to be able to do anything else. to add further misery to the ordeal, there was no count-down nor any enthusiasm for it (!), which left me feeling quite short-changed!
it seemed a little sad not to witness the obligatory fireworks nor to sip mulled wine while welcoming the new year. in addition to this rather unfortunate circumstance… initial plans to meet up with R in Portobello on new year’s day were cancelled abruptly… the start of 2010 has got to be better than this, i tell myself.
new year’s morning came and went. i slept in like a baby… waking up without the nasty headache, but a little sulky from the knowledge that the planned walk along the beach in the north of Edinburgh was not going to happen on what seemed like a rather lovely clear day… a feeling of regret seeped into my consciousness. … i could have gotten onto a plane last weekend either to the US or SG… to either celebrate the new year with A or attend the wedding of a friend and see family… *sigh*… however, living like a conjunctive didn’t make me feel any better.
i tried contemplating on the Open House at L’s that i had planned on going in Edinburgh… it would be fun, i coaxed myself. i could meet some new friends or re-acquaint myself with old familiar faces… and it’s unlikely that they will have karaoke! i called L to see how late their Open House would go on for and figured that arriving later wouldn’t be so terrible.
with some determination to make what seemed like a rubbish situation better, i got my act together. i did some laundry, baked a cake, and hopped into my Zippy-friend and drove the hour-long journey to good auld Edinburgh to visit L and i actually felt a million times better! there was no karaoke!!! and there was palatable food (i.e. no strange piggy anatomy, which are apparently part of the ‘normal’ Chinese cuisine in certain regions of China/Southeast Asia, that i dare not even consume) and fun games that engaged everyone… that’s more like a party i am used to attending! i also got to reacquaint myself with some old faces from undergraduate days… and was actually able to feel like a normal part of the ‘society’! it was certainly quite reassuring.
on my drive home, i listened to the BBC4 Radio programme: “Great Lives”, which reflected on Hannah Arendt’s life (http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00pftm7) and her various (political, philosophical, and identity) struggles as a Jew in Hitler’s era… i couldn’t help but find myself being reminded of how i’ve struggled with my identity as an Asian, while living abroad… it is a complicated one for i’ve never really been terribly fond of cliques; racial or otherwise. while there is some sense of ‘security’ to be amongst fellow Asians, i also find it asphyxiating and a little in denial to be trying to recreate a sense of familiarity in a ‘foreign’ place. in my opinion, it could never be quite the same and rather than isolating oneself from the locals by mingling only with Asians, i’ve actually found it more educational mixing with the ‘locals’ or others… or perhaps i am just grossly repelled by quite a lot of Asians’ fondness for karaoke!
oh well, i hope you guys had a good start to 2010! and Happy New Adventures to you all!
i spent saturday reading outdoors… while waiting for my laundry to be done. it turned out to be quite a pleasant way to get through a rather tediously long article that i had been struggling to read. i will miss the sunny days here in MN when i do leave this part of the world. one takes the brightness here for granted because even in the deep, mind-bogglingly cold winters, the sun is still a frequent visitor.
i’ve been travelling quite a bit lately… within the country and between countries.
the month of May saw me and A visiting Bayfield for a much needed spa-getaway up to the Superior Northshore. i seem to find myself travelling up there quite a lot. this time, it’s the Wisconsin side of the great lake that we explored. in the small-town, coastal setting, we stayed at the eco-friendly Pinehurst Inn, which is owned and run by a lovely couple. the house sauna and organic breakfast spread were not the only highlights! many of the rooms come with a gas fireplace, a whirlpool bath complemented with organic bath salts, and access to the real spa — in case we felt the need for further indulgence. we rented bicycles and took the ferry to Madeline Island. all was very pleasant except for the one disappointment: the new local restaurant, Wild Rice, that i’ve heard so much about and was very much anticipated, was still closed for the season! we made do with dining at Maggies, whose quirky and flamboyantly pink flamingo-themed interiors (which also included a moving toy train display above the bar) did, surprisingly, offer pretty decent food. what i enjoyed most was the quick bite we got at the hippy Big Water Cafe, and the beautifully soothing vanilla Earl-Grey latte i had.
i also made a trip to Scotland in May… primarily visiting the University of Glasgow, although i did take the train to Edinburgh for an afternoon’s visit. in Edinburgh, i met up with my academic supervisors/mentors/friends, who were very kind not only because they made time for my visit
and inquired about my assessment of the offer from Glasgow etc., but also because they fed me a very lovely lunch, as well as offered me tea and homemade cakes. i was quite spoilt, indeed.
the weather in Scotland was miserably soggy and cold, which admittedly made me feel rather down and somewhat despondent about the Glaswegian climate, especially when it had been sunny back in the Twin-Cities. it also didn’t help knowing that it is comparatively sunnier and drier in Edinburgh. while in Scotland, i also had the opportunity to catch up with L, with whom i had many cuppas during our postgrad-days, and who had spent most of 2008 in HK and just returned to the UK.
in June, i made yet another trip up north, with C and K and a visiting scholar from Oxford, to see the Split Rock Lighthouse and Lake Superior, after a brief stop at my favourite cafe, The New Scenic Cafe, along the scenic drive. we had a lovely afternoon exploring the area, enjoyed a large spread of delectable edibles for our outdoor picnic, and scrambled atop rocky formations for a better view of the magnificent lake.
i wonder where the rest of June and the following months would take me…
… i made a terribly difficult decision over the weekend… and can only hope it is for the best… =(
that could be my 6-word memoir for April 09. i long for June to arrive. or if that can’t come quick enough, i wish that May would be here instead.
life at work has been increasingly, well, challenging… socially. i’ve always found that work itself, whatever it may be, is ALWAYS less challenging than people. and when people of different backgrounds, culture, and ethos come together, you can get quite a lot of awkward tensions.
there’s also the constant frustration of ‘demonstrating’ progress and work that is not willingly shared by others, the lack of transparency, the lack of consistency in shared knowledge, etc. this frustration is intensified in the current climate of job-cuts and everyone else trying to prove their worth…
that aside, i am still trying to find other career opportunities, with little luck or options for further exploration. or if there were, it isn’t certain if i stood much of a chance. i keep sending the applications, hoping for a real contact, the prospects of a face-to-face conversation of possibilities… but perhaps there’s just something i am not doing quite right… and then there’re still distant-learning lessons and exams still to be completed…
all such madness in April and in May… but mostly in April and the unwritten obligations are making me long for June to arrive sooner… hoping that life would regain some ‘normalcy’ and am looking forward to a real vacation someday during which i don’t have to worry about work, obligations, and simply enjoy a few days of my insignficant existence…
audience sought; emotional catharsis: any takers?
— in Six-Word Memoirs Apr 13, 2009
one thing i really appreciate about living in the high latitudes of the northern hemisphere is the seasons. every season has its thing, even the wretchedly cold winters…
lately, it feels like spring here, and the days are getting longer. and there is nothing quite like having the warmth of the sun on your face on an otherwise cool day, or the prancing shadows that follow you like a transient friend.
i missed the live address that US President Barack Obama gave Congress on Tuesday. Such important speeches appear to be always delivered on a Tuesday, during working hours. reviewing it online on NewYorkTimes tonight made me teary. i must have gotten my emotional gene alleles from both my mum and dad… the genetic potency, when combined, seems to have made me doubly emotional for whatever reasons and offers a potential explanation for my propensities for being a little over empathetic, at times (particularly when watching horrors and thrillers).
in my opinion, there has never been a more eloquent orator in modern times than Mr President. he delivered yet another well sculpted speech that addressed the crucial issues facing USA today, and so rightfully reminded the Americans what and where their seemingly forgotten values are. indeed, he was wise to emphasize on family values that epitomizes the American tradition i have come to know, at least during my stay in the state of Minnesota. how ironic, it might seem, that it is away from home (in a country whose certain popular media would offer a differing perspective) where i learnt that open but close-knit family traditions are valued highly. it is also in the American Mid-West that i got to witness such genuine family bonding.
“These education policies will open the doors of opportunity for our children. But it is up to us to ensure they walk through them. In the end, there is no program or policy that can substitute for a parent — for a mother or father who will attend those parent/teacher conferences, or help with homework, or turn off the TV, put away the video games, read to their child. (Applause.) I speak to you not just as a President, but as a father, when I say that responsibility for our children’s education must begin at home. That is not a Democratic issue or a Republican issue. That’s an American issue. (Applause.)
There is, of course, another responsibility we have to our children. And that’s the responsibility to ensure that we do not pass on to them a debt they cannot pay. (Applause.) That is critical. I agree, absolutely. See, I know we can get some consensus in here. (Laughter.)”
yet the issues he raised are not just a priority for the Americans. responsibility for our children is a universal one.
i have always been excited about the prospect of an Obama presidency from the start, even though i do worry for his safety and wellbeing. his progressive and practical views are not just his desirable traits. i think it rare, in times like today, to find ourselves (the USA and the world) being led by someone who is not only the epitome of internationalism but also of traditional values and moral upbringing. and he is not afraid to show his love and affection for those he care and admire, and above all, respect:
“Madam Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, the First Lady of the United States — (applause) — she’s around here somewhere.“
you do not see this very often in men with power; the open if not public acknowledgement of affection and respect for their spouse. it is very endearing to see the US President treating his wife, Michelle Obama, as an equal and with such endearment.
life in my little cosmos has gotten quite busy… i have a knack of piling more on my wee plate through what seems like a necessary act of ‘chancing on opportunities’ — it is something i have been trying to do ever since i got over the first part of the rather disheartening realization that there isn’t anything like ‘job security’ nor that ‘things ever stay the same’. maybe all this is part and parcel of ‘growing up’! yet, i secretly wish to be in denial.
thankfully, i get to return a little to the state of infantile bliss when i arrive home to celebrate Lunar New Year with my family next week. it’s been a good 14 years since i’ve celebrated this special traditional event with them… and as much as i may be swamped (with bureaucratic and social obligations) during my visit, i am looking forward to catching up, indulging in home-cooked cuisine, and bathe in the tropical heat! oh! and to recharge that ‘tan’!
